Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Just Murder Me Gently

This might be my last chance, So maybe I should take it. I just hope your listening, To everything Im saying. I miss the long drives, the car rides, The bad fights, the good times. The way you make me feel will never leave my mind. These past few nights my mind has been running circles, not just the small hand sized circles, like running circles so fast that the olympic track stars would be envious. I'm still alive I will admit and I have made it this far, but now that I've come along this far the only thing is is that I know it's going to have to end sometime. I chase these ghosts with a pack of Camel 99's and an empty state of mind.

School is getting a bit easier to deal with. When I'm at school my mind reverts to then right direction, but when I leave this place I go right back to a dented being. I'm more alive then ever for the pain I feel is surreal. Cuts you down to you and your sense of pride. Today is one of those days when all I feel can be poured out and I'm fine with that. Basically, to put this all into motion on the inside of your skull, I hate this, I despise being alone, I'm afraid of the future, I'm devistated she is gone forever, and I'm positive I'm falling all over again.

"sat ashore and watched as one
Hopeless wave crashed upon another
While my thoughts ran to the highest hills
My heart never, never reached the sea
With only delusions of an endless journey
I am left with an ocean between you and me
An ocean between

Is this your salvation?
Is this all you can give?
I will not stand in reflection
Of someone else’s dream

The gate to my heart has been weld shut
With the splendor of my aspirations closed in"

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